Film
by VampyViolet
Summary: One day Tobi got his hands on a camera. And now the Akatsuki is wondering what Tobi got on film. No one is safe. Crack-ish I guess.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Naruto.

There was one frightening day at the Akatsuki, in which Tobi had gotten a hold of a digital camera.  
After about 50 shots, Pein had confiscated the camera and entrusted the memory chip to Itachi. It was only about a week later that the curiosity started getting to  
Akatsuki members. They all wondered what Tobi had gotten on film.

And a few of them were ready to do something about it.

The first was Deidara.

-Itachi's POV-

I put my head on my desk as a headache started to kick in. This job is annoying. And now with my eye sight going bad its just getting worse.

I raised my head when I heard the door open and slam. Turning around, I saw Deidara standing by the door, glaring at me.

"Weasel-man! un." He says.  
"What is it Deidara?"  
"I want the memory chip, yeah!'  
"Why?"  
"Because, un, everyone is curious about what's on it!"  
"...No."  
"Yes, un!"

I was distracted from Deidara's ranting when the door opened again, revealing Kisame. He closed the door more quietly than Deidara had, and stepped forward. They must not want anyone else to know what they're up to.

"Hi, Itachi-san. How are you?" Kisame asked.

I just stared at him.

"Yeah, I'm feeling weird myself. Must be something with the weather."

I already knew what he wanted.

"Get to the point, Kisame." I told him.  
"I want the memory chip."  
"Get in line, and then prepare to wait. I'm not giving it to either of you."  
"Then at least get them developed, un!"  
"No."

For the third time, my door opened, and somebody came in. It was Kakuzu.

"So, Itachi..." he says.  
"You want the memory chip, don't you?"  
"Yes..."

I sighed. There was only one way to get them to leave me alone. Well, two, but the first one is much less messy.

"If the three of you leave me alone, and do not say another word to me about the memory chip, I will get the pictures developed."

The three of them walked out, without saying another word.

What have I done?

I stood up and pulled on my cloak. Time to go get the pictures...


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Naruto. I think I made Itachi a little ooc so i hope you don't mind.

Itachi's POV

Trouble. The pictures were nothing but trouble. I knew this because I had looked at the pictures first.

And now I knew that if the others saw this they would all be going after Tobi.

There were so many embarrassing things on those pictures, some less embarrassing than others. The first one made me want to go after Tobi myself.

It was one of me.

Sleeping.

Without a shirt on.

I stuffed the picture into my cloak, hoping that no one else would be able to find it. I would burn it later. However, the next picture was great.  
It was Deidara practicing his kissing in the mirror, in the bathroom. I will never, ever touch that mirror again.

I put the pictures back into the envelope, and put the package into my cloak as well.

When I got back to the base, I tried to sneak off to my room, without being called.

When I got there,... well let's just say that I learned who the smarter few of the Akatsuki are.

Kisame and Deidara were waiting for me.

I took off running down the hall, and turned the corner when I ran into Konan. I ducked behind her and rolled into the closet.

I heard the others interrogating Konan, and then run off down the corridor. I opened the closet door after a few more minutes, to make sure it was safe.

And I came face to face with an angry Konan.

"Hello, Konan..."

She held out her hand glaring at me. Must be on her period or something.

I handed her a photography envelope filled with pictures from Hidan's birthday party...good times...

She walked off down the hall to her room, and slammed the door.

I slipped out of the closet, and ran down the hallway, into my own room. It hid the package under my matress, and pulled my cloak off. I tossed it into my laundry basket, and laid down on my bed, not worrying at all...

-The next Day-

The next morning started off normally. I woke up, brushed my teeth, and got dressed. I went up the stone steps and walked into the kitchen.

That's where the weirdness started. As i started eating the rest of the guys kept stifling laughter and giving me odd looks.

After about 10 minutes of going through this, I gave up and sighed.

"Okay, guys, what's going on?" I asked.

Kisame looked up at me, and pointed to the wall at the end of the table.

The picture of me sleeping...was pinned to the wall.

Deidara burst out laughing, telling me that it was him. I glared.

I was going to get my revenge.

And I knew exactly how.

I smirked and walked out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Naruto. Thanks for the reviews, and sorry I haven't updated in a while. ^^ And thank you Imaginationgirl12 for putting my fic on alerts...and giving me the wonderful mental image of Itachi being shirtless haha! you get a cookie ^^ And to Jackie I liked your suggestions, so you get a cookie too.

Itachi's POV

On the way back up to my room, I had to wonder how they got that picture.

Oh yeah, I left it in my cloak.

grrr.

I'm an idiot.

When I got there, I pulled out the envelope, and opened, spilling the contents on my bed. I quickly searched for the one of deidara (the one of him practicing kissing on the mirror). After a few more minutes of searching, I still couldn't find it. Meaning someone else has it.

Meaning_ **I don't have it...**_

Damn.

I searched the rest of my room, rather frantically. **_I WILL HAVE REVENGE!_**

I froze. That was _really _creepy.

I then decided that the picture was MIA and went back to the others, and started counting. There were only 47 out of 50. Somebody stole two pictures. I looked through the stack again, hoping for an equally embarrassing shot of Deidara.

Halfway through the stack, I found what I was looking for.

-the next morning, before anybody else was awake-

I quietly went up the stairs and snuck into the kitchen. I had luckily gone unoticed by the light sleepers.

I grabbed the phone and dialed the number for the billboard company.

"Hello, this is the Billboard Company, How may I help you?" a woman asked.

"Yes...I'd like to place an ad on one of your billboards."

-one week later-

Pain was having one of his weird Akatsuki meetings, and I wasn't really listening. Until I heard him say...

"I need two of you to make a grocery run!"

I smirked and raised my hand. Nobody else did.

"Fine, Deidara you'll go with him, since you haven't gone in while."

Deidara groaned and facepalmed.

**_Excellent._**

Half an hour later, the two of us headed out. I tried to restrain my...excitement about was going to happen. Deidara kept giving me weird looks so I suppose I wasn't doing a very good job... I tried harder.

After a few minutes, Deidara's looks ceased. Either I was now fully hiding emotion, or Deidara just didn't care anymore.

We kept walking, until we got near civilization. Until we walked past a billboard. Until Deidara stopped in his tracks.

Because he saw a giant picture of himself dressed up and dancing like Michael Jackson, next to an ad that said:

'**Need entertainment? Hire this blond, he's _bad_.**'

and his cell phone number.

I looked over to Deidara, and he was twitching.

"TOBI!" he yelled, running back to the base. Looks like I'll be doing the grocery shopping on my own then.

and im really sorry the chapterz are so short! Please forgive me I'm working on it!


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Naruto. And I'm sorry I haven't reviewed in a while I've had lack of internet at my house and I'm too lazy to go to a library or something… I also do not own the song, heh heh…

Deidara's POV

What is with that guy! Who would have the nerve to put that picture up there?

Itachi, duh.

What's with those crazy, revenge-obsessed Uchihas. I swear they're insane.

So, I can either set an example for Uchihas everywhere (a grand total of **three!**) or I can have my own revenge.

Hmm, well I suppose that I could be good for once, and do something entirely nice…

Ick that sounds terrible…

Then, my phone started ringing.

"_Here comes the, here comes the, here comes the __**boom**__!"_

"Hello?" I said answering the phone.

"Hello, I'm calling to uh… well I saw the ad…"

"I'M NOT GOING TO DRESS UP LIKE M.J FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!"

"Oh… how about… Joe Jonas?"

"WHY?"

"Because, my birthday is coming up, and I'd thought it'd be funny to have an impersonator there…"

"WHAT THE HELL! NO I'M NOT GOING TO DRESS UP LIKE THAT GAY-ASS! WHO IS THIS ANYWAY, YEAH!"

"Umm… Naruto Uzamaki…believe it?"

"No, I do not believe it…"

"Oh…well…goodbye then!"

The phone line went dead. Who the hell was that guy? A few seconds later, Itachi walked into the room. I glared at him, but then thought of something…

What if he had put that guy up to it…

Probably not…

I've been getting phone calls all day…

Still, I wonder…

"Hey, Itachi! Do you know who's number is…555-1234?"

Itachi turned around quickly, to look at me.

"Why?" he asked.

"I got a phone call from him…"

"That's Sasuke's number… but why would-"

However, before Itachi could finish his sentence, my phone rang again.

"_Here comes the, here comes the, here comes the __**boom**__!"_

Grr…

I answered my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, M.J I was wondering if you would-"

"No, I do not!"

"But… I'll pay you in ramen!"

"Why would I care about ra- WAIT A SECOND IS THIS **NARUTO**!"

"Heh heh…noooooo~! Pshh, why would this be…um…"

The phone line went dead.

Why!

I glared at Itachi.

"This is all your fault, un!" I told him.

"Who said I was the one who did it." He said, walking into the other room.

Oh I was definitely going with revenge…


End file.
